Friday, February 24, 2006

Snowmobiles, Poker, Chamber-Pot Art and Five-Layer Dip

Ok ok - I know it's taken me almost a whole week to find time to put this post up, but cut me some slack - I've had a busy week! Also, to make it up to you, I've got pictures galore so you don't even have to read the words if you don't want to.

Sarah and I were entertained by in Dalrymple by Tina (pictured here with her famous five-layer dip), Andrew and the Morton Family over the weekend. We were barely there for 24 hours, but in that time we managed to get in more country fun than we normally get in an entire year.

Tina's dad is the proud owner of no less than two skidoos and a four-wheeler, so the five of us were able to all get onto ridiculously fun two-stoke vehicles all at once to bomb around the sugar bush and swamp behind the Morton Estate.

Amusingly enough, Sarah, a girl who grew up in the city and has never had a good enough reason to get her driver's license, has now spent more time on the road in the driver's seat of a Ski-Doo than she ever has behind the wheel of a car. I took the following picture riding on the back (or bitch, if you will).

Now, you'd be forgiven for thinking that the highlight of a stay at Chateau Morton would be this daytime sampling of outdoor winter fun, but you would be wrong. After dinner and a rousing round of poker, it was next door for a fire and a couple more beers at Tina's grandparents' old place.

This is just a small sampling of the spoon collection that fills the walls. It's amazing. Seriously, it's hard to believe how many spoons there are in neatly arranged wooden cases on every available surface in the place.

Well, every surface except the one occupied by the decorative commode bouquet in the bathroom.

Not that the walls are the only notable decorative feature in the place - it's impossible to overlook the shag carpeting that comes in a different colour in every room in the house.

Forget Mexico - the new winter vacation hotspot is Dalrymple, Ontario.

Congratulations for not being an asshole.

Ok, maybe I'm just being a bit cynical here, but are Toronto commuters really supposed to be proud of TTC workers who act like any decent human being would...and then get lauded in a poster campaign for it?

You know, I've called for help before when I saw someone in trouble - like when Chris and I saw the poor homeless dude getting the crap kicked out of him at the corner of College and Spadina*, or like when Sarah and I stuck around to help police identify an old guy who'd been having a domestic with a very young girl on the sidewalk outside his house. Does that mean that I get a poster?

No. It means that I don't have to spend the rest of my life feeling like a worthless human being.

Don't get me wrong - I think it's great that gestures of strong community spirit should be recognized and rewarded, and I don't mind my TTC dollars going towards that sort of effort. But a poster patting someone on the back for not just ignoring a man being attacked on the street?

Gimme a freakin' break.

* - I should point out that Chris actually did the phoning here, but I'd like to think that I wouldn't have dropped the ball if I'd been alone.

Living in The Future - Part 2, or maybe 3.

You know, ten years ago I would have seen this construction crew hoisting an MTV sign onto the Masonic Temple at the corner of Yonge and Davenport, and I may never have given it another thought.

Instead, now I pull out my ever-present digital camera and record the moment, then spend twelve or so seconds of my day searching from Google to find out exactly why this sign was being erected, and then I put it up here so that you can read about it at work.

And now I'm confused - does this count as progess?

Friday, February 17, 2006

Wind storms and bumper cars

I know that this is just a glorified ad for the Toyota Aygo, and the audio sync is a bit off, but I definitely know now what I want to do for my next birthday.

Best line: "The car is easy to maneuver in a supermarket-car-park-football situation."

Also today, pictures from my neighbourhood after the storm last night.

Now, I fully acknowledge that this is a bit of a mess, and if it was my front yard I'd be more than a bit pissed, but do we really need a police car idling at the bottom of the street to stop people from driving up?

I mean, it's hardly Ice Storm - this is what traffic signs are for. Just put up a "Road Closed" sign and move along. Or - here's a crazy idea - just get out of your cruiser for five minutes and move the offending branches off the road!

I swear, if this happened where I grew up, somebody's mom would have already driven up with her pickup truck and chainsaw and taken this away for firewood.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Fuck you, enctype="multipart/form-data"!

How many times am I going to fall into this trap? How many times am I going to spend an hour troubleshooting the same goddamn problem!?

I can never seem to learn that when you're using an HTML form to upload a file, one needs to include the enctype="multipart/form-data" nonsense in the form header.

Why? Why would they do this to me? Who designed this interface, and where can I find them and KILL THEM?


I'm angry like this angry little penguin:

...and while I'm less disarmingly cute, I'm just as likely to beak somebody in the face right now.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006


When I lose my job in two weeks because I haven't gotten any work done, I'll have Fatty to blame. He hooked me up the other day with Nestopia, a Nintendo emulator for my Mac (that's right, my work computer is now Nintendo capable).

He also sent me to a aite where you can download pretty much every single game that was ever released on the Nintendo, including my all-time favourite, Super Mario 2.

There are also a lot of games that I've never heard of, like Mini Putt - though, perhaps I haven't heard of it because the customs people took one look at the opening menu of the game and decided that they wouldn't let it into Canada.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Happy Day of the Tine of Valen, as the French would say.

No, they wouldn't. Well, only if you substitute "the French" with "Mike, after eating too much sugar in the morning." Seriously though, it's not my fault.

After walking Sarah to the subway I got back and noticed that a Post-It Note had been attached to my computer:

After my initial shock wore off and I realized that this was not a note written by a ghostly hand in human blood, but in fact a romantic note written in red puffy paint, I ventured into the bedroom and found this box under my pillow:

...which I then opened to find a huge pile of delicious treats from Harbord Bakery.

Yummy goodness. I don't know what the chocolatey-good things were in the box, but they are super tasty, and apparently chock full of hyperactivity-inducing sugar.

I totally have the best Valentine.


Look, look:

Ravioli, made from scratch by yours truly.

And it only took three straight hours of labour in the kitchen!

Friday, February 10, 2006

Today is a day for music

I don't pay enough attention to Salon these days. This morning I decided to go and check it for the first time in weeks, and voila! I am in love with a new band.* A new band who, despite the fact that they are Secretly Canadian, will likely never make it to Toronto.

Oh, well - I will keep hoping.

* - Well, new to me.

Latest Belle & Sebastian, streaming

Making this morning a bit sweeter for me is the latest from Belle & Sebastian. You can't download it (at least, not without paying) but the streaming quality is pretty high, and thus far, the album is great.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Just when you thought that razor blades couldn't get more expensive...

Wow, I can't imagine how much these razor blades are going to cost off the shelf - even without considering the money that they'll need to recoup from the mega-marketing campaign that is just ramping up.

Premise of ad: secret desert labratory... by sexy young female scientist ("Cassandra")...

...whose "stats" are available as part of the advertisement...

...and who just can't wait to show you the amazing advances in razor technology from Gillette -- in the Holosphere, of course.

Is this how razors are sold? Does anyone actually buy this bullshit campaign?

I mean, seriously people - this is a disposable power razor with a beard trimmer included, made more enticing by a fictional character whose biggest turn-off is "Scruff". Next, we'll have ads of topless strippers trying to convince us how it makes so much more sense to throw out entire rechargable shavers just so that we don't have to change the blades.

A prediction: St George Station will be plastered with full-wall Gillette Fusion ads by the end of the week.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Egg Song!

Any of you who have still not managed to get the Badger Mushroom Snake song out of your head might want to avoid the following link.

Consider yourself warned.

Monday, February 06, 2006

Curling rules!

I just can't say how much fun I had curling yesterday with all of y'all that made it out. Thanks a ton for a wicked fun birthday - you are the best! And hey - to all of those who couldn't make it out yesterday, it was definitely fun enough to justify a repeat performance. Watch for updates, but maybe we'll head out there the next time the Vancouverites are in town.

Tania sent me a link over the weekend to The Quiet American. It's a super neat idea, sampled soundscapes collected from Vietnam and other locales presenting a form of audio tourism. I have to admit, I find the concept (and the strangely included pictures of huge, cute Pandas) more intriguing than the actual recordings themselves, but all in all it's certainly worth a few minutes of your time.

And last in my morning posting, I bring you proof that while we may not yet live in the future (since I don't yet have my jetpack), we may soon live in a time long, long a galaxy far, far away.

Update: Thanks to Dave for posting a pile of pictures from curling fun - and doubly thanks for not posting any pictures that show the giant hole that I tore in my crotch on my first shot of the day. I can't tell you how happy I was that I wore my bright orange briefs - so hot.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Someday, these are going to be worth money.

"Five in a series of five. As the artist's body of work increases, it becomes possible to discern certain trends and habits that will provide an insight into his psyche."

I'm too self-conscious to leave a birthday greeting from myself, to myself at the top of my blog for longer than a few hours

So here are some random neat things that a million people have no doubt posted to already, but I don't care.

First off, Sarah just sent me a link to a real-life Katamari!

So good! I want one!

From there I killed a few more minutes looking around Craftster which, if you didn't know already, is always rewarding. Seriously, put your machismo aside for a second and check it out - I mean, have YOU ever seen Teen Girl Squad Mittens, complete with graph paper background?

No, I didn't think so.

Also, who doesn't need a Kurt Cobain laptop cover?

And no Crafternoon would be complete without a visit from the plush fold-out fetus, with attached placenta.

Happy birthday to me!

Once again, Sarah has out-done herself with a delicious and nutritious birthday breakfast of candy eggs and candy fruit.

She also bought me flowers. Girls who buy flowers for boys are the best sort of girls.

Now, it's time to pretend that I'm actually going to find time to do some work today - it's going to be a tight squeeze to get anything done what with my mom and sister coming down to take me out for Dim Sum lunch, and then dinner tonight at Czehoski, winner of the Most Pretentiously Minimal Restaurant Website Award.

Then, this weekend, it's off to curling at the Avonlea Curling Club! If you're reading this and you'll be in Toronto this weekend and I neglected to send you a direct invitation, let me know and I will send you the deets - curling fun for all!

Birthdays rule.

Note: As wonderfully extravagant as it would have been, we didn't actually eat candy for breakfast. A lovely plate of non-candy eggs, non-candy fruit, sausages and pastries was presented as well.