Thursday, December 22, 2005

Do zombies poo?



Personally, I don't think that zombies poo. I don't really know what happens to all of the human flesh that is consumed by a busy zombie on the move, but I suspect that this has something to do with the fact that zombies are always barfing up blood.

However, I am certainly not an authority on the subject, so maybe I will be proven wrong.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Sooo....the new black is...white?

Monday, December 19, 2005

Throw the snacks in the bag and I'm Ghost like Swayze

I haven't seen Saturday Night Live in ages (partly due to the fact that I am now old and if I'm still awake that late on a Saturday night, I'm out of the house and not watching TV) but after finding this little gem...



...it's true that I'm reconsidering. (Double True!)

Bayonettes, Panties and Japanese Schoolgirls, your Christmas present from Kyla

I can't take any credit for finding this little tidbit of amazingness but Kyla doesn't have a blog so, once again, I bring you a highlight from her travels around this here Internet.

This is so amazing that I am still about 40% incredulous that it actually exists - a Japanese video game that embodies the absolutely most alien of all of the many zany and alien Japanese concepts that I have ever heard of.

First, it's a one-on-one fighting video game - not so crazy, unless you've just waking up from a 15-year nap.

Secondly and slightly more novel is the fact that the warriors in the game are Japanese schoolgirls - we're getting warmer now, though this has definitely been done before. So what is it that lets this game take the prize?



Up-skirt panty shots. Yes, you heard me - up-skirt panty shots. You can't win a round single in this game without pulling out an old-fashioned camera and sneaking a picture of your opponent's underwear while they are off-guard. And if you have any doubts about how this works, well, just watch the video (don't worry, it's not particularly graphic...though I would say that this whole concept is pretty deeply disturbing and I would hate to be you when your boss catches you watching this at work).

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Oh Christmas Tree

My family has a tradition where, about two weeks before Christmas, we head out into the woods at the Gillespie farm just outside of Orillia on a horse-drawn sled and cut ourselves a Christmas tree. This year, Sarah came along for the trip.



Sadly I forgot the camera in the van so I couldn't get a picture of Sarah while she was cutting it down, but it was awesome, lemme tell ya. Still, I did get a couple shots of her hauling the tree out of the woods.



Also, check out the wicked tree-scrunching machine!



It's funny, when you're out in the woods among the trees that are actually growing in the field, you tend to get a skewed perspective on the size of the tree that you're actually bringing home. Thus, even though we thought we were being quite conservative with our choice (our original goal was a 6-foot tree) we came home with a tree that, to be honest, totally dominates our living room.



Christmas totally rules.

Milk + Sugar = Good, Milk + Salt = Bad

If I showed you this picture, what would you say is probably in the bowl?



Sugar? It looks like a sugar bowl, doesn't it?

Sadly though, if that's what you thought, you would be wrong. We had Dave and Vanessa over for dinner a little while back and I dropped the salt shaker into the sink full of dishwater right before serving the meal, so this was my improvised salt-delivery system.

Unfortunately for Sarah, she went with your theory; when she woke up this morning and came down to make herself a bowl of cereal she assumed that it was a bowl full of sugar. So you can imagine the surprise and confusion on her face when she ate a mouthful of Life cereal expecting it to extra sugary sweet and, instead, it tasted very, very wrong. Wrong in a salty, milky sort of way.

Lesson of the day: Unknowingly sprinkling just a few teaspoons of salt onto one's breakfast cereal is enough to make one jump up in a panic and run across the room to barf into the kitchen garbage bin.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Gay Narwhals!

I think that, to me anyway, Narwhals are quickly overtaking Giant Squids as the coolest animals under the sea.



There's an article in the New York Times (via Slashdot) that talks about how a recent discovery has shown the Narwhal's spiralled tusk to be a sensory organ, capable of measuring temperature, pressure and water composition. But this article is so much more than that - it's also chock-full of amazing information about these unicorns of the sea.

For instance, did you know that male Narwhals engage in tusking, where they "...gently rub tusks together"? Combine that with the fact that we now know these tusks to be full of nerve endings that "...undoubtedly produce tactile sensations when the tusk is rubbed or touched, and that these might be interpreted as pleasurable" and you've got yet another example of some serious homoerotic activity, flaunting it nature-style right along with those gay penguins.

Take that, American Family Association!

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Since he's too busy crumping to post it himself, I'll take on the Pandora review

Fatty sent me a link to Pandora last night and I've been intrigued ever since.



Pandora's basis is the Music Genome Project (MGP), an endeavour started in 2000 to try to "capture the essence of music on a fundamental level [by] assembling literally hundreds of musical attributes or "genes" into a very large Music Genome. Taken together these genes capture the unique and magical musical identity of a song - everything from melody, harmony and rhythm, to instrumentation, orchestration, arrangement, lyrics, and of course the rich world of singing and vocal harmony. It's not about what a band looks like, or what genre they supposedly belong to, or about who buys their records - it's about what each individual song sounds like."

Pandora itself is a Flash jukebox (free and ad-supported with registration, but you need to pretend that you're an american) that uses the MGP database to attempt to answer the question: "Ok, I like this band, so what other music will I like?"

Cool idea, but how well does it work? Good question. I'm currently putting it through the paces, but I'm a bit skeptical. For one thing, the jukebox creates a playlist based on a single song or band that you like. It takes an interesting set of criteria to sift for other music - for example, creating a channel based on The White Stripes used the criteria "mild rhythmic syncopation, mixed acoustic and electric instrumentation, a vocal-centric aesthetic and major key tonality" - but I really wonder how much they can base a playlist on one selection. I would be more impressed if it had a more complex personalized preference-learning algorithm.

Anyway, like I said, I'm intrigued and I'm going to give it a bit more time to see what sort of music it dishes out.

Update: So far, my White Stripes playlist has given me The New Pornographers (good), Pilate (not so good), more White Stripes (good, but not exactly a lot of thought involved in tying White Stripes to White Stripes), Drunk Horse (not bad) and Ted Nugent (wtf? Cat Scratch Fever, anyone?).

Interestingly, I have also discovered a feature where I can tell the jukebox that I don't like the current song and it gives me the immensely satisfying reply:

Sorry about that. We'll try something else, and we'll never play that song again on this station

Now that's what I call service! Never again!? I'm going to hold you to that, Pandora.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

America's Top Model meets Derelicte

Why can't Tyra come up with awesome photo shoot ideas like this?

Gingerbread Madness!

Ok, I've been to enough fall fairs in my life to have seen some pretty awesome gingerbread houses, but a light-up model of London Bridge in gingerbread takes the, er, cake.



So cool.

Note: Sarah has pointed out that this is Tower Bridge, not London Bridge.

Monday, December 05, 2005

Never thought I'd be saying this

I'm not sure if it was his intention or not but Dave has managed this morning to make me think that maybe...just maybe...I need pay more attention to Madonna.

The Robot Bartender

A man enters a bar and orders a drink.

The bar has a robot bartender.

The robot serves him a perfectly prepared cocktail, and then asks him,

"What's your IQ?"


The man replies "150" and the robot proceeds to make conversation about global warming factors, quantum physics and spirituality, biomimicry, environmental interconnectedness, string theory, nano-technology, and sexual proclivities.


The customer is very impressed and thinks, "This is really cool."

He decides to test the robot.

He walks out of the bar, turns around, and comes back in for another drink.


Again, the robot serves him the perfectly prepared drink and asks him,

"What's your IQ?"


The man responds, "about a 100."

Immediately the robot starts talking, but this time, about football, NASCAR, baseball, supermodels, favourite fast foods, guns, and women's breasts.

Really impressed, the man leaves the bar and decides to give the robot one more test. He heads out and returns, the robot serves him and asks,

"What's your IQ?"


The man replies, "Er, 50, I think."

And the robot says... real slowly... "So............... ya gonna....

vote... for... the..... Liberals again?"

from Sarah

DEAR SIR/MADAM,

I GOT YOUR CONTACT FROM INTERNET WHILE I WAS SEARCHING FOR A TRUSTED PARTNER TO BUY AND TO ASSIST ME TO EXPORT MY AU GOLD DUST TO A DESTINATION OF HIS CHOICE

COMMODITY CHARACTERISTICS BELLOW:

COMMODITY : Au Gold Dust
QUANTITY : 500 kilos.
QUALITY : 22 Carats
PURITY : 96% or better
PRICE : 7.500 euros per kilo

CONDITIONS: PARTNER OR BUYER WILL COME DOWN TO GHANA TO CONFIRM AND TEST THE GOODS AND ALSO ASSIST ME FOR OFFICIAL EXPORT OF THE GOODS.I AM READY TO GIVE YOU ANY FURTHER INFORMATION YOU WILL REQUIRE IN THIS TRANSACTION. AWAITING FOR YOUR EARLIEST REPLY.
THANK YOU.
BEST WISHES,

RICH DONKOR
TEL:233 24 3103172
FAX:233 21 221119
E-mail:rich_donkor@fsmail.net
ADDRESS:NO.3 DADE LINK,LABONE,GHANA

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500 kilos? Wow, he sure hides it well: