Thursday, August 25, 2005

Eastward Bound

I'm leaving on a trip today for the East coast of Canada, it's vacation time for me! Woot! So please excuse the lack of postings for the next two weeks, but I will return soon with fart jokes abound. I promise.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

What I'm listening to.

So as you can see, I've added a "What I'm listening to" bar on the right hand side of the page, here. Yes, each one of those links goes to Insound, and yes that's a commercial site that sells CDs. But they also host one of the web's largest selections of free MP3s (and not just those MP3's that nobody wants to listen to, there's a lot of good stuff there). Also, they have good shipping rates to Canada, they hold frequent sales, they make great music recommendations and they've got a really solid Flash jukebox with about 35 songs up on it at a time.

So yeah, I'm not saying that you should necessarily care at all about what I'm listening to...but if you do, I have no qualms about sending you over to Insound to check it out.

Pat Robertson, Terrorist

I think that it's amazing that Pat Robertson will probably suffer a relatively short period of controversy over these amazingly imflammatory statements, but in the backlash he probably won't even lose his job at The 700 Club. Let's just take a second and imagine what would be happening to him right now if he had brown skin and was talking about assasinating a first-world leader (he would be halfway to Guantanamo Bay by now).

Hey, Pat Robertson. Here's a newsflash: Hugo Chavez is viewed as a messiah to the underprivledged majority in Venezuela because his anti-American, leftist politics are helping the people of his country dig out from under the rubbish pile that's been heaped on them by years of American exploitation for Venezuelan oil. He's not a dangerous dictator...his approval rating is so high that he makes George W just look like an asshole. The only thing that Hugo Chavez is endangering is your chance of getting a few more years of cheap oil for your SUV.

Also, you're lucky that you're not living in Britain where they just outlawed this sort of hateful, inflammatory and terrorist statement.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Sometimes, Technology is Good

I bring this mostly as an offset to the news that billboards can now talk to you.

Now, a doctor in the poor part of Vietnam is building high-tech, low-cost medical equipment in their living rooms with his home PCs.

If that's not awesome, I don't know what is.

Excuse me, would you like to hear the latest from Smart Set?

My feelings of techie inadequacy from still using my old no-frills cellphone are being laid to rest today by the fact that, at least at present, billboards can't talk to me in malls.

What blows me away about this "revolution in advertising" is the fact that a whopping 17% of people who were beamed advertisements by these talking billboards actually chose to receive these ads. Who are these people? Are they that bored and lonely during the walk from Jean Machine to Cinnabon? "Why yes, I would love to know about Old Navy's fall lineup of mesh tanks! Bring it on!"

God help the first person that is sitting on the streetcar beside me who starts listening to one of these ads at full volume. Heads will roll, I swear it.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Quality is our recipe.

For all those who would rush me: this is why I'm still humming and hawing over whether I should get that tattoo or not.


That said, I still say though that a barbarian with a giant bloody sword killing a chick in a torn fur bikini riding a dragon in front of a purple sunset would stand the test of time. My grandkids will LOVE it.

A very popular president.

As this brief article on Salon illustrates, George W Bush is a very popular president.

In Idaho.

Somebody should call those potato farmers up and fill them in on the news from the past couple of years.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

If I buy stock, would that be insider trading?

Another gem from Fatty.

Wow, if you thought that office politics were bad at your place of employment, you should talk to the people over at Telus. The mindless idiots who thought it would be funny to make dick and boob jokes in a 'team building' exercise video are essentially redefining the limits of office politics as we speak. If this escalates any further, you'll be able to look for a new term in the Urban Dictionary: "Going Telus: See Going Postal."

Also, does anyone else find it disturbing that, whether they deny the practice or not, they actually have a word, "slamming," for the practice of charging people for services that they didn't order?

Renovation Madness

I'm a bit worried that I'm actually starting to enjoy this whole renovation thing a bit too much. I don't want to turn into one of those Martha Stewart types who stays in on a Friday night to try out a new paint hue in the breakfast nook, or to finish that cute little tile mosaic that I started in the bathroom.

That said, it's pretty satisfying to tear up this ugly carpet:


...discover and pry up two layers of linoleum and a plywood subfloor tacked down with a million nails:


...and end up with a century-old hardwood floor.


Pretty awesome.

Other things rediscovered today:

  • Soma FM. Soma is one of those good things in life. You know, the free ones.

  • CBC Radio 3 Archives. CBC Radio 3 had one of the best online presences of any organization in the history of the web. Then they had all their funding pulled and they had to resort to Podcasts to get their message out. And now, they're relaunching this fall. This is what we in the business* call Good News.

    Note: It has been pointed out to me that I linked to the magazine archives above and that I should have linked to the concert and sessions archives. My mistake. But the magazine archives are really good too.


* This statement is not meant to imply in any way that I am in the business.

Friday, August 12, 2005

Maybe I'd better shave, just in case.

My friend Eric took this picture in Notting Hill (yes, that Notting Hill) on July 26, after the shooting in Stockwell station.


We're sure if it was a joke or not, but after seeing the reaction to the bombings in London, he's leaning towards "Not".

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Flowerskirts and no capital letters

Let the grammar wars begin - Tanya has joined the ranks of the Blorg and is not using any capital letters.

Don't tell Fatty.

A-Zoo-Ron-Ron-Ron, A-Zoo-Ron-Ron

Today I'm going to the Zoo. The Toronto Metro Zoo, to be exact.

Why you ask? Well, to see Ron Sexsmith of course.


Isn't that why everyone goes to the Zoo?

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Paper Dolls

Paperdolls are fun.


How else could I make Usher fall in love with Natalie Portman?

I'm going to stroke it, your arms are broken!

I can't deal with how funny this is. For real.

Duck Tales theme song in Finnish.

You try.

I defy you to listen only once.

Then, on the 300th time that you're still listening to it and still laughing, you can blame Mike C.

MTV: weiners.

It's bad enough that MTV won't even play music videos...and they won't even be happy now that they've managed to influence even our great little Much Music to stop playing actual music and start repeating Making the Band and Pimp my Ride ten million times a day. No, now they have to go and ban British Sea Power's great pop-worthy video for Please Stand Up from playing because it includes the lyric "a little excitement makes us all wetter, wetter." I mean, have you even watched the video? It depicts the members of the band, in long sleeves even, calmly playing their lovely music in a cabin in the woods.


No sex...no nudity...no violence...


...no drunk starlets driving cars into swimming pools and then coming up in wet clothes and slinking over the hood of the car.

Maybe this is the lesson of the day. Tasteful, banned bands of the world, listen up. Next time you want to get your video on MTV, make sure that you get some ladies in hot pants dancing around - then they will overlook your scandalous lyrics.

Rize, again.

Went to see Rize last night at the Paramount, and all of y'all who couldn't make it - well, let's just say that you should get your asses out there and see it right now, 'cause it's good. So good.


And yes, I'll be working on my stripper dance in the bathroom all week now.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Not-self portrait.

I have a cute girlfriend. I've known this for a while now, but it was confirmed last night when I was taking pictures of Sarah to use as a basis for Rajo's party on Saturday night - he has asked that, as a birthday present for him, we all bring self-portraits instead of purchasing anything. Personally, I think it's a great idea.


Anyway, I came up with this and thought that it looked too good not to show off.

Sorry baby, I hope you're not mortified, but you did say that you liked this picture.

Zieh' an - zieh' aus

Yes, I stole the title for this blorg from a Pez ad campaign.

Yes, that ad was hilariously dated and culturally insensitive.

But why, oh why, did the makers of a children's candy ever think that it was a good idea to use sex in advertising?

The Signature Rant.

Ok, that's it. I'm sick of stupid weiners who sign their emails with inspirational quotes that are meant to evoke feelings of love for kittens and strawberries. I have always had a deep-seated loathing for those who feel the need to send out every email in their arsenal with some Chicken Soup for the Soul drivel about Love, Friends or Hope, but I've been alerted to the absolute worst email signature in history today.

T (name withheld to protect his/her employment, since this came through on a professional email) got this gem of a signature today:

Don't fear the sunshine,
'Cuz everything is better,
In the summertime.


Wow. Way to address the concerns of the common person with a profound and heartwarming statement. What are you, an albino vampire?


Can I just ask, who the fecking Christ fears the sunshine? When was the last time that you woke up in the morning full of optimism and hope for the day ahead, only to throw the open your curtains and have a cold dagger of horror stabbed into your heart by the sight of a clear, sunny morning?

Also, there is absolutely no point in trying to use an apostrophe in front of "'Cuz" if you're going to substitute the "-ause" in "Because" with "-uz"; that's like trying to put a band-aid onto the side of a transport truck that has flipped over and exploded.

We've been outted.

This one is going out to Mike C who has doubtlessly already seen this (since he's the one that told me about somethingawful.com) and who I'm sure is already writing his article on how to be a post-music snob.

Bacteria that poop computer chips

University of Massachusetts researchers have discovered something that, to me anyway, borders on science fiction in terms of completely nerd-tastic coolness. Geobacter bacteria have apparently long been known to respirate metals (instead of boring old oxygen), a property that has made them valuble for cleaning toxic metals out of soil for environmental operations. Until recently though, nobody has figured out just what they do with the metals that they "breathe." So imagine how excited the nerds over at UMass must be to have discovered that these hard-working little bacteria are exhaling 3nm-5nm metal nanothreads.

It's a tough race, but this story is coming close now to pulling in front of the goats that produce spiderweb milk in terms of nerdtastic coolerific-ness.

Trapped in the Closet?

Having trouble identifying the key themes and issues in R. Kelly's theatrical masterpiece Trapped in the Closet? Maybe you're having trouble with the lingo - what exactly does he mean by mack shit? Or maybe you just don't have 16 minutes to spend watching the five chapters that are so elegantly acted out for us?


Well, lemme tell ya, your ship has just come in.

Rize

Ok, I am always a sucker for a dance / rollerskating / supermodel / cheerleader-type summer movie, but I'm particularly excited about this gem.


So excited, in fact, that I'm going to go and see it tonight.

Monday, August 08, 2005

Pezi Detective turns 1111

Woot! I just happened to notice that, while I was starting to read this, my page counter hit 1111! There's something satisfying about that, like when your happen to look down on a long car trip and see your odometer click over from 999 to 1000, all the digits changing at once.

I'm still not totally sure why y'all are still showing up every day, but hey - you keep coming and I'll keep writing. And yes, you can consider that a threat.

Also, Steve has a blorg and he takes lurvely pictures and puts them up there for us to see. Actually, it's been up there for a few months now, but I'm just a bit slow on the uptake.

Yarrrr.

So what sort of Pirate are you?

I'm Old Chummy, as it turns out, but I would still rather attack my dreaded enemy with a bag of feral cats.

Friday, August 05, 2005

Finally!

For all of you out there who have had it (up to here!) with having to deal with Christian and Muslim watches, something for you:

The Jewish Watch.

Cat vs Arthritis, more like it.

Check out this video that Sarah sent me of one of the stiffest yet most ingenious cats I have ever seen. And yes, I know, this is the second post this week featuring a cat, Tina, thank you for keeping count for me.


I would have posted this earlier but I've been rewinding and playing it over and over all morning.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Garbage no more!

Woot! The pile of trash is gone!


Well, most of it is, anyway. Enough, hopefully, that we won't get lynched by the neighbours. If only now we had some grass, maybe a flower or two...but for now, I am happy with no trash.

Also, got a postcard from my friend Chris (and new housemate) in Turkey today. Chris is back, but he decided to grace our doorstep with these lovely chaps:


No explanation is given as to who God Bes is or why he and his sons seem to be almost embarassingly well endowed. I'm going to hope for the sake of pantmakers everywhere assume that some artistic liberty has been taken in the interests of, er, art?

In the interest of disregarding well-founded instincts

So after about nine years of trying to convince friends to throw themselves out of airplanes with me, I've finally succeeded in finding a slightly unhinged soul who is willing and excited to do this:


..with me. In fact, it seems that I may have opened a floodgate of sorts, and there may be as many as 5 or 6 of us hurtling towards earth with a parachute strapped to our backs.

I have to say though, as much as I want to do this and I am super excited and all...that picture makes my stomach turn over.

Also, join Fatty today at Zombocom. The newsletter is amazing if you can figure out how to sign up.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

A Capella

I haven't seen this in its entirety yet due to connection problems with the server, but I'm hoping that it's as good as it promises to be in the first ten seconds.

I'm putting it up as a testament to my faith that Mike C probably wouldn't send it to me unless it was good enough to spend a few slack minutes on.

Sigh.

So we finally got our VOIP phone. I can't tell you what a good deal this is, we pay freakin' $30/month for unlimited long distance and local phone service, no extra charges ever. Well, unless we start making a lot of 900 number calls.

Once again, I got excited to try to figure out something that my phone number spells. I've always been so envious of people who get the good phone numbers, like my friend Dan-O in highschool whose family phone number was DAN-SEXY (sorry to Dan-O's family if you still have that number and the crazies start calling, I'll leave off the area code just for you).

Anyway, I've been disappointed again. The best thing that I can get out of my phone number is xy-KING-z (where x, y and z are three different numbers that don't fit with KING but I'm not telling you what they are, Snooper McNoseyville). Not so hot, and no easier to remember than the numerical digits of my number.

Dang.

Good thing that I'm cheered by the fact that I get to see The Apostle of Hustle this weekend for the second time in three weeks.

Sam

Sarah is right, Sam truly is the world's ugliest dog.


Yes, this is real.

No, Sam is not a zombie dog.

Never, ever trust me with your money.

So after a series of agonizing weeks on the Hollywood Stock Exchange I've managed to amount to the incredible task of regaining the money that I lost in the first four days that I was a member. That's right, I'm within $800 of getting back to the $2 million that they gave me for free when I first signed up. And strangely enough, I mostly have Charlie and the Cocolate Factory to thank for that, despite the fact that I have still not seen it (soon, I swear).

So hey, if you ever have a chunk of money that you want to break even on over a few weeks, I'm your man. Woot...next stop, the moon.

Ok, ok already.

I've now officially changed the number of posts that show up on the front page of my blorg. After getting numerous complaints about showing too many posts, I've shortened the list to the most recent 6. Hopefully this is good enough for you formatting-Nazi-types.

Also, sorry about the lack of posts since last Wednesday. Yesterday was actually the only day since then that I've spent on the computer, mostly due to the fact that I've been tearing this wicked pile of junk:


out of our basement (we're so going to get lynched by the Annex neighbourhood association) and working on various other renovation type chores.

In the realm of good news, we got a wicked chocolate-brown couch for $150 in the Ikea as-is section because it was missing one single pillow (that's it, one pillow!). This is hardly exciting news, I know, but you should have seen Sarah fighting tooth and nail against the other guy who wanted to get his hands on the couch after we'd already laid claim to it. True, she lost a couple of teeth and a nail in the tussle; but you should see how her opponent and his life partner look today. Sarah might not be big, but she can be mean, and once she got her hands on that as-is Kryssbo lamp it was all over.

Oh, and this is Briscoe, one of our new kittens:


The other one (Logan) is MIA right now, but I finally found my camera - it was hiding in my camera bag, oddly enough - so I'll get him later today when he comes out of hiding.