Monday, October 24, 2005

Dog Bags and Emergency Exits

I wrote this on the bus enroute to Kingston on Friday night. I had nothing to write on but the back cover of a Harper's Magazine so I'm transcribing it now. As an interesting addendum, said magazine tells me that redheads need an average of 19% more anesthetic than everyone else on the planet. That has nothing to do with this entry, I just though that it was a neato fact.

I missed my train, so now I'm taking the bus. I haven't taken the bus in a long time; probably since the last time I missed the train.

It used to be that, with my student discount, I could travel round-trip Kingston to Toronto for $55. Now that I'm living post-student-discount it's $55 each way. Blarg.

That said, there are some significant improvements that have been made. The seats have been redesigned to include knee-dents, presumably for the sake of the long-legged like me. and though it may just be a side-effect of new upholstry, the bus somehow smells much better. I wouldn't go so far as to say it smells good...but it's an improvement.

But the thing about the bus is that, for better or worse, you get the crazies. You know, the ones that are scared away by the brightness and cleanliness of trains. The ones who see nothing at all wrong with unwrapping tuna or egg salad sandwiches in small, enclosed spaces with 50 strangers. The ones who, like my current travelling companion, sneak their dog onto the bus inside a MEC backpack that should, by all rights, be carrying nothing but gym clothes or textbooks.

I literally shudder to think why the dog's owner seems to be keeping handy a large handful of empty plastic shopping bags. I guess we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

I just hope that the bus doesn't roll over or catch fire or undergo any other catastrophe that requires me to exit via the emergency exit, because thanks to this clever little sign I'll have absolutely no idea what to do:

And while we're on the topic of indecipherable signs, when I get to Kingston I'll have to remember to take a picture of the weird spaceman outside the Armoury. Maybe someone can help me with my nine-year search for an interpretation.

Note: I did remember to take a picture of the sign when I got to Kingston, so here it is in context and close-up, sadly a bit obscured by the flash:


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