Tuesday, September 20, 2005

My two new favourite products.

I found the first of my two new favourite products about five minutes before I came cross the ants on Sunday afternoon at a 7/11. It's a new energy drink, Rockstar Energy Drink that apparently lets the drinker "Party like a Rockstar":

You have to love the boldness of this advertising campaign. I mean, for this to work well in an unironic sense, the advertising company that produced this had to somehow come up with the conviction that, yes, their ads could make a regular person like you or I believe that drinking their energy beverage could overcome our normal social standards and let us Party Like Rockstars! Or maybe it's meant for those people who already think that they Party Like Rockstars, so that they will identify with this drink.

"Hey, I party like a rockstar! This is my energy drink!"

Anyway, product number two comes to us today from this month's edition of Teen Vogue. Sarah bought it a couple of days ago to read the interview with Frances Bean Cobain - an interview that, sadly, focuses on her fashion sense and her desire to not "be titled as Courtney Love and Kurt Cobain's daughter".

Sigh. I know that you're only thirteen, Frances (can I call you Frances?) but why are you following the same old whiny cliche of all children of famous people? Have you not figured out that we only know who you are because they're your parents? Hey, I've got an idea: if you don't want to be famous because you're their daughter, maybe you should stop giving interviews until you've done something interesting on your own.

Ok, I'm done. And yes, I know, she's only thirteen, but she's a thirteen-year-old with a publicist, designer and a makeup artist. Truth be known, I'm impressed that she seems to be as normal as she is. And to their credit, the closest that the article came to mentioning Kurt's violent, sensational death was when they referred to him as "the late Kurt Cobain".

Anyway, I'm off track. This wasn't supposed to be about Frances Bean or the fact that I didn't make the Teen Vogue list of 24 Sexy Boys to Watch. It's about this ad that I found on page 31:

It reads:

"First Ever!

Airbrush Legs

It's like spraying on pantyhose.

Legs look gorgeous and feel soft, smooth and sexy.

Enriched with Vitamin K, so Airbrush Legs covers and helps fade freckles, veins and imperfections.

Long-lasting and transfer-resistant. Won't streak, run or hide your pedicure.

Bare legs are nice. Airbrush legs are irresistable."

This is, incredibly, an ad for spray-on pantyhose. Yes, that's right - spray-on pantyhose. Nice to know that someone has finally improved on bare legs.

Can someone please explain to me how this is any different than spray-on hair which, last time I checked, was the least sexy product on the planet?


Blogger Sallie said...

It's so funny. Both of those products sound like things I might find here! In fact, when I was reading the ad for the spray on pantyhose (hahaha!!) I actually thought for a moment it might be a Japanese ad. Bizarre.

2:39 PM  

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